"I’m not like other moms. I’m a cool mom."
Oppenheimer had balls. Or at least ball.
wow. that’s terrible. I still laughed.
"[My mom] lives on a Havasu reservation in Arizona with her new husband and three replacement kids. Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine’s Day. And I’m like, “Thanks a heap, Coyote Ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.”